The doctor said it was just a virus and to treat the symptoms. I woke up this morning and felt like I was hit by a train in my sleep. I don't know that I believe the doctor. I feel aweful! I have the sweats and it is even hard for me to hold Sadie for more than a few seconds. I feel like I am going to pass out and then I have to set her down. I have been running fever on and off since Sunday night and lots of coughing. The body aches all over the place and I can't seem to beat whatever is going on in my body. Also I think with everything going on my milk might be drying up. I feed Sadie and she seems to be fussy after I feed her like she is still hungry. She puts her face in my shirt like she still wants more. I have been giving her formula to help her get full but she obviously does not want that and gets even more frustrated. I am not sure what I am going to do. Any advice? I will take it. I am not against weaning her now but I can't seem to figure out how to wean her without her being upset. Also, any time I go to eat something or drink something my lower stomach hurts with bad sharp pains. Not sure what that is all about either. Please pray for healing.

Going to the doctor today finally cause I can't beat this flu.

Sadie Rae is 7 Months old!

My little princess is 7 months already! I can't believe how fast it has gone. She is just a beautiful baby inside and out. She loves her brother so much. Every chance she gets she watches him. She has been trying to talk and jabber lately. She has said Mama mama several times but I think she is just trying out new syllables. I would love to think she means me but I highly doubt it. This past week she recently started to crawl. She reaches out in front of her with her arms and try to get her legs going. She bounces a little. It is very cute. She is still nursing but we are starting to wean a little. I would like to be done by the summer. It's amazing that I made it this far. After I tried with Caleb I had decided that it wasn't for me. Well, when I had her I said that I would only do it for the first couple of weeks and now 7 months later we are still doing it. It has saved tons of money on formula and I have enjoyed being able to provide for her. It makes me feel like I have accomplished a goal. I feel great about it. She has been trying to cut some teeth too with having no appetite, lots of drooling, she chews on everything, and has been fussy lately. Poor baby. I am glad that we don't remember the pain of teething. Their gums must hurt so bad. We haven't gone for a check up yet. We are still needing to do that so I can get some stats on her. We also need to get some more vaccines. We are taking those a lot slower too. Just trying some different stuff out. Things she likes to eat are avocados, apples, sweet potatoes, prunes, bananas, and crushed up mangos. Since I have been home more with her I am able to make some of my own baby food. It's fun to use the grinder wand thingy. She has also thrown her first fit. We were at Rudy's the other night and I gave her a sliver of a pickle to chew on. Well, she had sucked all the juice out of it and it was starting to get smaller and I was afraid of her choking on it so I took it away with a little force cause she was not letting go. She threw her head back and starting screaming. It was rather entertaining to watch cause here she is so little and doesn't make much noise except for when she wants something she will sound like an owl and then she blurts out with a loud yell. I felt bad but I didn't want her to choke. Well, I am excited to see what she will be doing next month but I almost don't want to see it yet. She seems to be growing up too fast! I love you my little Sadie Rae!

Monsters vs. Aliens

Caleb and Logan with their 3-D glasses on before the movie

waiting patiently for the movie

Josh, me, Caleb, Sadie, Austyn, Dylan, Logan, and Nicole went to go see Monsters vs. Aliens last night and had a great time. Bubba was trying to reach for the things when they were popping out of the screen. It was pretty funny.

Easter 09 cont...

Well, we have to say Thank You to lots of people this year for Easter. Thank you Meme and Hap for our Easter cards. They were greatly appreciated and much needed. Thank you Aunt Missy and Uncle Donnie for filling Caleb and Sadie's Easter baskets this year! Thanks to yal I didn't have to worry about filling it. I would have loved to but I just didn't have it all together this year with Caleb being in the hospital the same week as Easter so that helped out a ton! Thank you to Mom and Dad for our Easter cards and the target gift cards inside and also thank you mom for the grocery shopping that we did together and the HEB gift card! That helped out a ton. Things are going to be tight around here since we have lots of hospital bills to pay off but it was all worth it. All the special gifts this year meant so much to our family. This was a tough Easter and will not be forgotten. I know Bub wasn't close to death but him just being in the hospital scared me so much and it hurt me so bad cause I couldn't do anything except let the aweful virus ride out it's course. I can't begin to imagine what Mary (Jesus' mother) felt like that week of Easter when Jesus was on the cross. She knew that she couldn't do anything either. She had to let it happen. That just breaks my heart for her. I have a new perspective for Easter now. I always knew what it was about and it always meant something to me and I know it is about Jesus dying for us but we also can look at the others too that had to go through it with Him.

Easter 09

Happy Easter!

Thank you Meme and Happy

This is what I got when I asked him to take of picture of his new movies from Meme and Hap

He was so excited to see the mail when he knew that he was getting a prize from Meme and Happy. Thank you so much for helping him feel better with the prizes.

Caleb is doing a whole lot better. We are still not out of the woods with the diarreha but we are doing so much better. We are having to make sure that he drink 40 oz a day of water, juice, sprite, or whatever he will take in except for milk or apple juice. Poor baby, he is probably so ready for the poo poos to be over with. Thank you again for all the prayers and words of encouragement. It means the world to me to know that people are remembering him in prayer.

home and making some progress

We are back home again as of last night. After talking it over with Josh and his parents we decided it was best for Bubba to come home. Yesterday afternoon we had heard from the nurses that we were going to be getting a roommate in the hospital. That made me quite nervous to hear that. I questioned right away and said why on earth would they be bringing another child in. They quickly said back that the other child had the "same thing". So I quickly said back to them that they had never told me what Bub had and so how could they say they had the same thing. Well, they told me they were showing the same symptoms. I just couldn't accept that. So I requested a private room and they told me that they didn't have one. My Dr. had called them to tell them to go ahead and put him in one. Then he called me back to tell me they didn't have one. So, we discussed it and he said that as long as I was persistent with getting fluids in him at home then he would release him and do a follow up on Friday. The dr. said that if he were to start showing signs of him getting dehydrated again to come back immediately. It has been trying to get him to want to drink. I think I have hit bottom with this whole situation and just have to give it completely to God. One song that keeps coming to my heart through this whole thing is Still. "Be still and know that I am God". When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm, Father You are king over the flood. I will be still and know You are God. We are going through this for some reason. Not sure why yet but God has a way of showing us things through situations like this. He is doing better as far as his spirits are but he still has the runs and doesn't want to drink all that much. Pray that I have strength to get him to drink constantly. Pray that I will have strength to take care of him and Sadie Rae. She has been a doll through this whole thing. I am so grateful for the friends I have around here offering to take her and keeping her through the night. I may not have family around but I have people that are close like family. Mike and Danielle were able to make it down for a couple of hours to see Bub and my parents will be in town this weekend. They are coming down because my cousin passed away also. They are making a double visit. So much has happened. I feel a heaviness in my chest when I sit down like this a really think about everything. It is easier for me to just live moment by moment. I need a moment by myself or with just Josh and I. We don't hardly get that. I want to be here every waking minute for Caleb but I also need my time to gather my thoughts together. When Bub was in the hospital I felt so torn cause I felt like I needed to be there for him and then I felt like I was not there for Sadie. I am filled with emotions and I just can't seem to balance them. I guess I am cause I haven't just plain lost it yet but I am close. All the prayers that have been said for our family I can feel them cause I think without them I would have lost it already. Thank you again. This too shall pass right?!

Back in again

We are back in the hospital again as of yesterday afternoon.  They are running tests to see what is going on inside his little belly.  They have been keeping him on an IV for fluids since he won't drink anything on his own really except for sips here and there.  I only wish they knew what exactly was wrong with him.  The dr. said that if the blood in his stool continues that they are probably going to call in a gastro dr. to get a second opinion.  Anyways, that is all I know.  I wish I knew more.  My poor baby is hurting and I can't do anything except help him go potty.  Josh and I both stayed the night with him and Sadie spent the night with my friend.  Nothing else to say except please keep praying for results so we can know and help him.

Bub in the hospital yesterday

My baby boy

This last week has been exhausting. It all started last Saturday into Sunday morning. Caleb had been up all night long. When I say all night I really mean ALL NIGHT! He was coughing his head off so much that we had to give him 2 treatments. His asthma was aweful. His poor little chest was hurting so bad. In the midst of all this Sadie had woke up to throw up. But she had only done it one time so I didn't think it was a big deal. I just cleaned her up and put her back in bed. So Sunday we took him to the Texas med clinic. They gave him a steroid shot to open up the bronchile tubes to help him breathe. So Sunday night we went home and just hung out. Monday around the same time Caleb and I both started throwing up. It was aweful. That was all night Monday into Tuesday. He and I shared my bed with no sheets and just the mattress to lay on just in case he threw up on the bed. I got over mine pretty quick. I guess I had to in order to have strength to take care of him. Little did I know that it was going to last the whole week long. Yesterday, Caleb had got so dehydrated so I took him to the doctor and the doctor admitted him to the hospital. So we were at the Methodist Children's for a good portion of the day. They hooked Caleb up to an IV and ran some tests on him. He is having blood in his stool also. They did some tests on that but won't know anything until tomorrow. He has been running a fever of 103 in between the tylenol and motrin. EVERYNIGHT for the past week I have been up with him from like 2:30 3:00 until it is time to get up. We have to go to the bathroom and I sit on the floor until he is done and then I have to wipe him then we get back in bed and like literally a minute later he is saying that he has to go again. The poor baby has nothing to poop out except blood! Our conversation goes like this
"Momma, I have to go make poo poos again" "Okay, bub let's go" while he is sitting on the toilet he says, "Momma, I love you, your my best friend in the whole world". It breaks my heart. Last night as I was sitting there on floor in front of him on the toilet I just started crying while he was crying and telling me that his body hurt. I feel so helpless not being able to make whatever it is go away. Meanwhile he is telling me that he loves me and that I am doing a good job. I am thinking to myself if I was doing a good job then I would have made it go away already. I am literally over exhausted and don't know what to do. Please keep us in your prayers and pray that the tests results that come back tomorrow will have something that we can put an end to.