A wonderful lady emailed me this today and I thought it was the sweetest and most truthful words that any mom could hear. I thought of all the blog mommies.


To some of the wonderful mothers I know :-)
MOTHERHOOD - - IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE . . .
We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and Her husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're taking a survey,"shesays, half joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?""It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral."I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on the weekend, no more spontaneousvacations . . . "But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decidewhat to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirthclasses. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing heal,but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw thatshe will be forever vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again withoutasking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every firewill haunt her.That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anythingcould be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefullymanicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticatedshe is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bearprotecting her cub.That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her bestcrystal without a moment's hesitation.I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested inher career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She mightarrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an importantbusiness meeting and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She willhave to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just tomake sure her baby is all right.I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine.That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than thewomen's at McDonalds will become a major dilemma.That right there in themidst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence andgender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molestermay be lurking in that restroom.However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herselfconstantly as a mother.Looking at my daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shedthe pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.Thather life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has achild. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but willalso begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but towatch her child accomplish theirs.I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will becomebadges of honor.My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the waysshe thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man whois always careful to powder the baby or never hesitates to play with hischild. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again forreasons she would now find very unromantic.I wish my daughter could sense the bond she'll feel with women throughouthistory who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunkdriving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about mostissues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclearwar to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter theexhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the softfur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that isso real, it actually hurts.My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in myeyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then I reach across the table,squeeze my daughter's hand, and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me,and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this mostwonderful of callings. The blessed gift of being a Mother.

Love,Vickie